Refuge From the Storm

Many of us will remember 2017 as a difficult and stormy year. No doubt for me it has been the most challenging year of my life. The pain due to loss and the uncertainty of the future accompany me daily. In the midst of my brokenness, God has used the book of Isaiah to bring comfort and hope to my life. Chapters like Isaiah 54 and 43 are anchors in my life. One day, I came across Isaiah 32:2 and, even though I had read it previously, it became more significant for my life. In Spanish the translation is a bit different, so I am going to translate it below from the 1960 Reina Valera Spanish translation.

"And that man will be like a hiding place against the wind and like a refuge from the storm; like streams of water in dry land, like the shade of a great rock in an arid land" Is.32:2 (my translation)

Two years prior, I had been on a personal retreat trip to the Grand Canyon in Arizona. That week I visited many desserts and lakes that were drying up because of the drought. I told the Lord that I felt like that, dry, thirsty and different from the person I used to be. On the last day of the trip, in front of a lake whose water level had dropped about 30 feet, I felt God spoke these words to my heart: "Your satisfaction can only come from me. Not from your husband, your family, your daughters, or your career. Only I can truly fill you and satisfy you."

There, in front of that lake, I wrote this song for the Lord. I had no idea how those words would sustain me in the following year. God was preparing me for the valley I was heading into. I wrote it in Spanish, but here's my translation:

Sáciame tú (Satisfy me)

cuando la vida me golpea, (when life beats me)

dejando mi alma triste y seca, (leaving my soul sad and dry)

sáciame tú (Satisfy me)

Cuando mi cauce se ha secado (When my riverbed has dried up)

y mis fuerzas han menguado (and my strength has diminished)

en mi desierto, en mi flaqueza, (in my dessert, in my frailty)

lejos de tu presencia, (far from your presence)

sáciame (Satisfy me)

Abre ríos en mi soledad (Spring forth rivers in my loneliness)

apaciéntame en tu amor (shepherd me in your love)

respira vida sobre mí (breathe life over me)

venda mis alas, volveré a volar (mend my wings and I will fly again)

Cuando estoy en ti, (I find my place when I am in you)

es que encuentro mi lugar

This and other songs helped me face the sleepless nights and the moments where tears were the only words I could muster. Isaiah's words resounded in my mind, "refuge from the storm". The word for storm used in Spanish in this verse is turbión, which the Spanish dictionary (RAE) defines as: 1) Rain with strong winds that comes abruptly and lasts a short time. 2) A multitude of things that fall suddenly, taking with them what they find along the way. 3) A multitude of things that come together and violently, and offend and hurt. All of these definitions applied to my life in the past years!

When the earthquake hit Mexico on September 19, 2017, followed by hurricane Maria in the Caribbean and Puerto Rico, my birthplace, the words of Isaiah brought peace to my heart. In that moment, I knew nothing about my family in PR because the storm cut communication with the island. I took my guitar and wrote this song to the Lord. I want to share it with you because I know there are many of us going through storms and trials that have no explanation and that, frequently, seem impossible to walk through.

Draw courage, my sister, my friend, find shelter in Jesus, our hiding place, our refuge, our water in the drought. Let us say like Habakkuk:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights." Hab. 3:17-19

Translation of the song:

I built myself a reality

anchored firmly in your faithfulness

Suddenly the sky grew dark

and the strong storm began to blow,

to blow

My boat sinks when you are not here

in the midst of the dense tempest

Between the waves

I can hear your voice

I lift my eyes and I see you arrive

see you arrive, arrive

Chorus

You are my rock, my strong foundation

refuge against the storm

You my hiding place,

water in my drought,

shadow where I can rest

Only you,

only you

Jesus

Bridge

Although the fig tree

doesn't flourish

or the vine bears its fruit

In you I find joy

my feet you strengthen

I will run after you